Hello, I am Dhruvi Shah. Today, I want to delve into a topic that is very close to my heart: the narratives of the elder sibling’s life and their interactions. Being the first born child in my family, I know these challenges that one has to go through being the first born child in the family. It is my intention to elongate the common portrayal of an elder sibling so that I am able to give some facts and figures that may give attention to the different stresses that we all endure.
The introduction of an elder sibling in the family is a dynamic that occurs as soon as the first child is born. We are always tagged as the pioneering generation who are treading on territories that our parents are still treading the part of being parents. This usually has the effect of turning into expectations laid on us. Unfortunately, parents being new to the process of raising children are often more authoritarian and demanding with the firstborns. We are required to be scholarly, behave immaturely, and take responsibilities that are insurmountable to our ages. Such pressure to be perfect at everything can at times be quite burdensome.
However, one of the most crucial factors of being an elder sibling is that one often takes on two related but different roles. Even as we are still in our childhood, at times we are forced to act like parents when both parents are at work or busy. For instance it may entail assistance in home work, errands within the house or even helping in settling disputes between the other children in the family. We become a kind of reference point, for which can be liberating and puzzling.
This is a common occurrence where parents often spoil the younger siblings. While raising the second or the third child parents are more experienced and therefore may not be as strict as when they were raising their firstborn child. A shift can sometimes be perceived as unfair by the elder siblings, especially those who had to endure sweat and toil just to achieve a particular goal.
One of the delicate tasks that the elder child has to perform is correcting or disciplining his or her junior siblings. Although we know we must correct and/or discipline, it is unpleasant to watch our siblings cry because of what we did. We appear to be close to them and it hurts when we let them down or when they think we are harsh on them.
Current research reveals that elder siblings are subjected to a lot of stress that the others are not exposed to. A research done by the Journal of Family Psychology shows how firstborns are likely to display operational responsibility and achievement related behaviors. Thus, this pretense of diligence results in high levels of stress and anxiety as they bend over backwards in order to meet the expectations that are placed upon them.
One of the subsequent researches revealed that firstborns are driven by responsibility and thus, tend to take more responsibilities in the families with an obligation to care for their younger siblings. This can place them under a lot of pressure. Most of the time they quit feeling valued, as most of their work is not rewarded adequately.
However, these are the challenges that come with being an elder sibling though being one is not all that bad. The good qualities that are nurtured through this role are fantastic. Thus we are natural leaders who are very good at managing several initiatives at once and are fully empathetic and compassionate. The relation between individuals, who occupy the position of the younger siblings, is truly extraordinary and unbreakable as it is formed during the course of their childhood and strengthened by the sense of support and fellowship.
Having elder siblings is not a joke, it is a ride of being challenged and a ride of one’s successes. The stresses as described are true and alarming, but they contribute to the formation of stronger, humane beings. To all the elder siblings out there, they should embrace the fact that they are hardworking and it is not in vain that they had to sacrifice a lot. You are building your future and the future of your loved ones; you are the light and strength for your family.
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